Most newly married men will resoundingly admit that their lives were less-dramatic when they were single. To some, it’s quite unfortunate you cannot change things after the revered words: “and now by the authority given to me, I declare you husband and wife!”
Newly married men have to put up with annoying behaviour but for fear of blowing up the marriage, they remain silent.
Take George for instance. His wife introduces him to anybody who cares to listen. “This is my hubby!” she can excitedly say at the slightest opportunity. George says that he finds this exceedingly annoying and doesn’t like his wife accompanying him anywhere.
There are hundreds of habits that newly married wives upset their husbands, but we have listed only ten most common ones.
1. Getting overly excited about the marriage
Hurrah! You’re now married! While being happy and excited is accepted, men don’t like a woman who exaggerates it. This show-off can embarrass your husband especially if he’s the “private-life” type.
Opundo, 31, agrees with George saying that from the blues and in the middle of a crowd, his wife can pull him closer and whisper something rather insignificant to his ears. “There are times she makes me feel like I did her a favour by marrying her,” he says.
2. Dependent in simple decision-making
Involving him in petty details isn’t submissiveness! A man respects a woman who can make independent decisions. Joseph Gitonga 37, from Othaya, Nyeri laments: “My wife cannot buy even a kitchen towel without consulting me! It’s tiring and maddening!”
Opundo echoes Gitonga’s sentiments saying his wife can interrupt a meeting with calls and texts just to ask him what he would like for dinner. The two men have another common problem: their wives can’t make decisions about over-staying relatives even if they’re from the wives’ side.
3. Crying wolf to attract attention
Crying wolf will distance him from you. He will ignore all your calls if all you do is sound an alarm. Nicasius Waweru 40, says that for his wife to stop crying wolf, he had to ignore her when she was genuinely in trouble. “She had been bitten by a dog but though the doctor himself called me, I refused to go,” he says. Today, Nicasius says, she knows too well when to sound an alarm.
4. Attempting to change them
“For Pete’s sake you found me smoking, so let me be!” observes Kevin Wawire 43, a Malawian living in Kenya. He says his wife thought she was earning credits by trying to make him quit smoking. Trying to change a man irritates him because you end up being a nag. There are some habits only he can change at his own time. If he knows he’s coming home and cannot do his thing in peace, he will do it where no one asks him.
5. Negative energy
Showing him why and how his plans won’t work is likely to make him keep his issues yo himself. Men want positive support and not examples of who tried it and it never worked. If you can’t be positive then shut up! Dealing with negative energy is another of George’s big issues. “She can never accept anything with the first suggestion!” he says.
6. Threatening to leave
A man hates a woman who keeps threatening to leave the marriage after every small disagreement. The truth is that he may one day ask you to make good that threat and you won’t!
7. Being treated like kids
“I don’t like saying the same more than once. If I say I don’t want to eat now, that’s it!” says Opundo. It annoys him when his wife nags him with “please finish your food; have another glass of juice; fruits are good for you…” This makes a man feel like his authority is being demeaned. When he wants food, he can ask for it!
8. Jealous and suspicious
A man needs some breathing space. Making numerous calls and texts because he isn’t home and it’s already 8.30 PM will make him switch off his phone and perhaps stay longer. “We are now married, it’s now time for me to start making money,” Gitonga says.
9. Brooding and sulking
If ever you want to tell anything your husband, speak it out! Men take time to understand the long face and often ignore it. Julius Kubo says that three years in his marriage and he has never known when his wife is just silent or when she’s brooding. “I ignore it and don’t even attempt to start a conversation,” he says..
10. Being overly submissive
Men want a woman who can challenge them intelligently — a woman who approves anything her husband says is timid, ignorant or is not serious. If a man feels like he’s making decisions alone he may either take advantage of that and start issuing commands or he can withdraw and start doing his own research on internet.
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