Tag Archives: Lifestyle

Going The Distance: 5 Ways To Love Each Other From Afar


Distance does make the heart grow fonder, with a little help from you.

Figuring out how to make a long distance relationship work can often be tricky. For relationships to grow, at least typically, you need to spend time together. Being separated by miles, states or the Pacific Ocean isn’t always conducive to that.

Still, even with a lot of space betwen the two of you, it’s actually quite simple to make a long distance relationship work; learn and execute. All it takes is a little thinking outside the box — when you’re miles apart, creativity can bridge the gap. So, next time you’re wondering how to make a long distance relationship work, try one or all of the following:

Communicate every day; no matter what : Thanks to text messaging, cellphones and the internet, communication is very convenient. We don’t have to track down a carrier pigeon and have them deliver handwritten letters like all our parents had to do. Because it is so convenient, there’s no reason not to communicate every day . Ideally, this communication would involve hearing each other’s voices or, even better, seeing each other through Face Time or Skype. Communication is the key to relationships. So, no matter the miles between you, stay connected.

Be flexible: Perhaps the biggest key to how to make a long distance relationship work involves flexibility. When you’re far apart from each other, you must be willing to adapt. This is particularly true for people who are in different time zones. While being in the Mountain Time Zone versus the Pacific might not be a big deal, being in India versus Wyoming will. So, be willing to be flexible and understand that things do come up. To put it another way, don’t take it personally when your set time to talk is moved around.

Visit each other: Some people can visit each other more than others (those who are within driving distance or have a million frequent flyer miles). But making a point to actually see other can make a huge difference in your relationship. Not only should you visit one another, but make that visit count — be affectionate, sexual and adventurous. And, when it’s time for you to go, leave something with your scent behind. It makes parting a sweeter sorrow.

Do stuff together: Telling people to do stuff together when they are wondering how to make a long distance relationship work seems like a cruel answer. But, with some creativity, you can actually do quite a bit together. For example, start a movie at the same time, phone each other and keep the call open. Then spend the next couple of hours experiencing the movie together. You can also call one another and cook a meal together, take a walk together (albeit to different places) or go to the same restaurant, in different cities.

Set rules: Setting rules isn’t always fun but it’s necessary. One of the biggest risks of long distance relationships is the unknowing. You don’t know what your significant other is doing most hours of the day. This is why setting rules is helpful. This isn’t to say that you should request a daily, schedule emailed to your inbox at five each morning, but you need to have the “exclusivity talk.” Are you dating someone else? Are they? Is this allowed? Sort all of these things out in the beginning, so you aren’t tortured by them in the end.

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By symon
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Guys, There’s One Simple Thing You NEED To Do To Keep Your Girl


What Is The Key To Being In A Successful Relationship? Start With Paying Attention

Men are changing, and many of them already understand the importance of paying attention. But a lot of us still don’t, so ladies, feel free to forward this or slip a copy under the sports section of his morning paper.

It could pay off. In a recent column I waxed on about the merits of guys paying attention as a secret to improving their relationship skills. You would think that something as simple as this wouldn’t come as a surprise.

But guys can get distracted easily, usually by themselves, and sometimes need a nudge to focus more on the ‘us’ than the ‘I’.

So, how did ‘paying attention’ enter my consciousness and change the way I was approaching my relationships ? Here’s what happened. After a few dates with a woman I was interested in, I inquired about what qualities I needed to be a good boyfriend .

This is something I had never done before, but I probably should have, because she immediately replied, “Just pay attention.” I narrowed my eyes like an ape does when he scratches his head with his oversized index finger.

“That’s it?” I asked. She smiled at me like I was a school boy and said, “Yes.” That was when the light went on, or in advertising terms, when I had my V-8 moment.

If you keep this precious nugget buried in your subconscious, I promise that you cannot go wrong. Women are interested in the effort almost as much as the outcome, so if you consistently demonstrate that you value her, you will invariably make good decisions and she will notice, big time.

Why? Because women always pay attention . They have one goal — to make your time together as fulfilling as possible. That’s it, amigo. She doesn’t receive any pleasure from pointing out your shortcomings, and she doesn’t want to change you.

Well, maybe a little. She just wants the best, and who can blame her? So, if she’s with you, she sees your possibilities. Is that so bad?

So, gentlemen, how do you pay attention? I think you know, but here are a few examples: ask her about her day and then listen, and whatever you do, don’t try and solve her problems. She doesn’t need you for that.

Try and point out something new about her on a regular basis. And fellas, not, “you look hot in that those shorts.”

Think more of how she does things in her own special way or how thoughtful she was for picking up your dry cleaning and that six-pack because she knows you dig that seasonal brew (hey, she sounds like a keeper).

Or better yet, do that for her. You know the drill. Just do your best to pay a little more attention to her each day, and I promise you that it will pay back higher dividends than most of those stocks you’ve invested in.

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By Selalie Ampofo

The intimacy was sweet Erick: Lovers open up to their ex-partners


Do you miss me?

The thing about ex-partners is that they could influence how you treat your partner in future relationships.

From the messages , some clearly still love and miss the company they had but are sad that life happened.

We recently asked our readers to anonymously send a message to their ex partners in poll. There is fun in anonymity and these ex-partners will confess that.

In an interesting twist, it emerges that although some have long forgotten their relationships, a huge number of us have not moved on from previous relationships. We still are nursing old wounds and carry bitterness over sour relationships we had.

Could this be the reason why we do not give it all in our current relationships?

Those who moved on or seemed to, have rude and perhaps profane messages to send to their ex-partners. “You are an idiot Mike*” One started.

“I hate you and hope one day you fit in my shoes, “another exploded. This can be confusing, because we are not sure whether she has moved on or not. Our relationship experts says that as long as one still has a grudge against someone in previous relationships, it could mean that they really haven’t moved on.

“Can we start our relationship once again”: This guy clearly still wanted to have the heydays with the girlfriend. Whether he messed up or not we cannot be able to tell.

There are those who felt that the breakup had in fact redeemed them from dark path. “Thank you for leaving me. I didn’t realize, I was being saved. I feel blessed.” The other one bolted: “Leaving was the best thing I did in life because I found my dream man.”

“We are never getting back together” and “I’m glad you cheated”: Heartboken, the guy still insists of getting back. Perhaps giving her sleepless nights asking for forgiveness and “second chances “. With this firmness in that message, the guy might as well let go because she isn’t coming back bruh.

You Are Beautiful: We still do not comprehend what is happening here.

Good intentions or sarcasm?

“I’ll help you pick the right shade of flowers for your wedding”: Looks like a hearted message for someone you once shared intimate relationship with. “Wish you all the best in life as you were a great woman even if we parted ways,” Gentle answer came from one man.

“I will never forget you, but my happiness to see your success in marriage and fulfilling life purpose.” Well, well well. What do we have here- maturity.

“I know I was a little selfish emotionally and sometimes physically. I also know” Admitting that you were wrong is legendary. One of the favourite messages.

“I have moved on and I’m very happy than ever. Have a good life” It sounded cold but composed. You can almost hear the voice penetrate the air. We liked this message too.

“There is no peace for the wicked! Shindwa pepo mbaya”: We feel for her- perhaps she was heartbroken by a guy who even after going rogue still persists on trying to get her back. When you add those “pepo mbaya” religious lines, we can only imagine.

More hilarious lines:

I will not return the money Erick*

You seriously need to stop texting me

Priss haiwezi tena. No way. Over is over, begin a fresh life!

By Old-eagle

Do you miss me?

The thing about ex-partners is that they could influence how you treat your partner in future relationships.

From the messages , some clearly still love and miss the company they had but are sad that life happened.

We recently asked our readers to anonymously send a message to their ex partners in poll. There is fun in anonymity and these ex-partners will confess that.

In an interesting twist, it emerges that although some have long forgotten their relationships, a huge number of us have not moved on from previous relationships. We still are nursing old wounds and carry bitterness over sour relationships we had.

Could this be the reason why we do not give it all in our current relationships?

Those who moved on or seemed to, have rude and perhaps profane messages to send to their ex-partners. “You are an idiot Mike*” One started.

“I hate you and hope one day you fit in my shoes, “another exploded. This can be confusing, because we are not sure whether she has moved on or not. Our relationship experts says that as long as one still has a grudge against someone in previous relationships, it could mean that they really haven’t moved on.

“Can we start our relationship once again”: This guy clearly still wanted to have the heydays with the girlfriend. Whether he messed up or not we cannot be able to tell.

There are those who felt that the breakup had in fact redeemed them from dark path. “Thank you for leaving me. I didn’t realize, I was being saved. I feel blessed.” The other one bolted: “Leaving was the best thing I did in life because I found my dream man.”

“We are never getting back together” and “I’m glad you cheated”: Heartboken, the guy still insists of getting back. Perhaps giving her sleepless nights asking for forgiveness and “second chances “. With this firmness in that message, the guy might as well let go because she isn’t coming back bruh.

You Are Beautiful: We still do not comprehend what is happening here.

Good intentions or sarcasm?

“I’ll help you pick the right shade of flowers for your wedding”: Looks like a hearted message for someone you once shared intimate relationship with. “Wish you all the best in life as you were a great woman even if we parted ways,” Gentle answer came from one man.

“I will never forget you, but my happiness to see your success in marriage and fulfilling life purpose.” Well, well well. What do we have here- maturity.

“I know I was a little selfish emotionally and sometimes physically. I also know” Admitting that you were wrong is legendary. One of the favourite messages.

“I have moved on and I’m very happy than ever. Have a good life” It sounded cold but composed. You can almost hear the voice penetrate the air. We liked this message too.

“There is no peace for the wicked! Shindwa pepo mbaya”: We feel for her- perhaps she was heartbroken by a guy who even after going rogue still persists on trying to get her back. When you add those “pepo mbaya” religious lines, we can only imagine.

More hilarious lines:

I will not return the money Erick*

You seriously need to stop texting me

Priss haiwezi tena. No way. Over is over, begin a fresh life!..

USA Adult Finder for US, AU, CA: http://dmsaffiliates.com/click.php?camp=3429&pubid=1898&

By Old-eagle

How To Deal With Your Partner’s Jealousy


Are you being wrongly accused by your jealous partner? What to do next…

To be wrongly accused is a horrible feeling– especially when the one accusing you is your love .

It’s uncomfortable when you’ve made a mistake, haven’t fessed up yet and are walking around dreading that fateful moment when you’ll have to come clean about what you did. On the other hand, it’s almost unbearable to be blind-sided by allegations from your partner that have completely no grounding in the facts that are clear to you.

Nobody likes to be put on the defensive and as your partner’s jealous mind continues concocting false stories about you flirting or even having affairs, you may become frustrated and angry.

Perhaps there was a time in your past when you did flirt or cheat, but that was a really long time ago. You have changed. Or maybe you’ve never even considered cheating but your mate has had hurtful experiences in the past and now someone else’s betrayal is being taken out on you.

None of this is fair.

And, chances are, there is an expanse of tension and distance growing between you and the one you love. It may seem clear to you that it is your partner’s jealous mind that is causing all of the trouble.

This may be so.

But you really can’t change someone else’s thoughts and habits which may be rooted in past events and beliefs.

You also don’t have to continue on this path of jealousy, accusations, and misunderstandings that you and your partner have been on. You can bring improvements in how you talk about jealousy and how you are in your relationship . Your partner may choose to make beneficial changes as well.

Ultimately, you two can begin to move closer together.

Jan knows very clearly that she isn’t doing anything wrong. She goes to work, comes home, spends two nights a week at meetings for social clubs and the rest of time is with her husband Phil. But even with Jan’s regular routine, Phil is often worried and jealous.

He is convinced that Jan is having an affair with some mysterious man rather than attending her club meetings. Just about every time Jan returns home from either playing bridge or her book club, she is met at the door with hostility and accusations.

At first when Phil began accusing Jan of having an affair, she laughed it off. She actually thought he was joking or perhaps even a little envious that she is more social than he is. But Phil’s suspicions and charges of her supposed infidelity have become difficult to bear.

Make a conscious decision to be trustworthy.

If you can relate to Jan’s situation and you are dealing with a partner who has a jealous mind that seems to be driving the two of you apart, try to take a mental step back in your own mind. For the moment, set aside your judgments about how unfair this whole situation is.

Of course, it is unfair, but judging your partner or the situation will not help either of you make a shift. Consider ways that you can demonstrate your trustworthiness to your mate.

We aren’t necessarily suggesting that Jan ask her book club and bridge friends to call Phil to prove she was actually at these weekly gatherings. Instead, she might consider ways that are comfortable to her to regularly let him know she is acting with integrity.

For example, Jan may choose to sit down with Phil after the bridge game and share about a particularly good hand she was dealt. She can also be aware of promises she makes to him and do her best to keep them– no matter how insignificant they seem.

What conscious decisions can you make to demonstrate that you are keeping your word?

Listen for needs and set clear boundaries.

When Phil begins to accuse Jan of sneaking off with another man, she can calmly restate where she has been and let Phil know that she’d like to talk with him about the feelings he’s experiencing right now when he can share emotions rather than accusations. Maybe Phil will be able to take a moment and then talk with Jan about how insecure he feels and how he’d like to more deeply connect with her.

If you can hear the needs that lie behind what your partner is saying, you may be better able to understand where he or she is coming from.

Even if your mate is totally off base in his or her jealousy, there are real feelings and needs that aren’t being met. When you have an idea of what those needs are, you can more easily work with your partner to help him or her meet those needs.

At the same time, you can meet your own needs by setting clear boundaries.

Jan set a boundary by letting Phil know that she would listen to him when he stopped the accusations and, instead, focused on how he is feeling.

You can do this as well. Make clear to your partner what you are willing and unwilling to live with in a gentle and loving– yet firm– way.

As out of your control a situation like this can seem, you are not helpless. When dealing with a partner who has a jealous mind, you can make conscious decisions that show your trustworthiness, set boundaries, and listen to the needs behind your partner’s jealousy.

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By Laminu sulemana

8 super annoying things women are tired of hearing from men


Sometimes you can’t fully apportion blame on men for their ignorance, lack of better communication or chauvinistic views which they may have picked up from their family that systematically demeans women.

Women can be intimidating at times and what was meant to be a compliment could be taken as offensive leaving the man unsure of what is or isn’t appropriate to say anymore. But don’t worry dear Johnnie, we have you covered.

Read on and find a list of things that women, especially the ones who would likely identify as feminists are sick and tired of hearing.

Smile

Honestly speaking you don’t expect her to walk around with a permanent grin on her face do you? Well some idiots do. Just because she doesn’t always flash a smile doesn’t mean she’s angry, moody or unapproachable. Maybe if you said something funny or nice she would smile. So do the math!

You’re the prettiest one among your friends

While many women will find it flattering and take it as a compliment, it can backfire on you depending on the woman you’re talking to. This is actually sexist. Don’t put other women down to make her feel good. Pitting a woman against her friends as though this were a beauty pageant is not a good way to go about this.

I didn’t know you were smart

In this day and age, men still get fascinated by women who are smart. This can be such a turn off especially coming from someone you are dating. It brings about all manner of questions like, if you didn’t think I was smart to begin with, then what are we doing here? Am I supposed to be flattered that you were only interested in me for my looks? Do you usually date women that you don’t think have any substance at all?

It’s rare to meet a……..

Scientist, mathematician, dot dot. If you work in a male dominated field this is nothing new. At first glance it may seem innocent and even flattering but what it implies is, there is no other reason for people to have listened to you other than your looks.

You are projecting

First rule of thumb never tell a woman how she is feeling because you do not know. Just because I said no doesn’t mean I’m uptight or have daddy issues. For peace sake, assume that I know how I’m feeling better than you and don’t patronize me by acting like you know better. And please just take what I say at face value instead of engaging in some mental gimmicks to try to get me to do what you want.

Ladies shouldn’t curse

Yes but men are allowed to right? Depending on each person’s background and upbringing some men may find it unattractive and incredibly crass for women to curse, drink or smoke. It is important for both sexes to respect each other and be polite. While it may make a woman look cheap or easy, it is not their onus to uphold the moral fabric of society unless otherwise. If you can’t handle her potty mouth move onto the next one.

How are you still single?

If you’re still buying into the idea that a woman is single because no man wants her you are a dumb idiot. There is nothing wrong with a beautiful, sexy, smart and successful woman choosing to take her time to live her life. If she’s picky it’s because she can afford to and she has choices.

I love women who eat

Depending on who you are talking to this can be very offensive. Men mistakenly think that phrase is progressive because it appears to mean that they’re advocating for women not to starve themselves. But the reality is that men never say this when a woman is overweight. It is only uttered to girls who fit the dreaded mold of the perfect dress size.

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By ZTF

3 Things To Do Immediately If He Seems To Be Losing Interest


Never chase, plead with, or beg a guy to come back to you. You are worth more than that.

When the man you love seems to be distancing himself , it’s understandable to get caught up in over-analyzing, worrying, and stressing about what’s going on in your relationship and what you should do.

This is the time to breathe through things instead of figuring out how to get his attention back. Here are 3 things you need to do:

1. Give him his space.

You might think by giving him his space , you may lose him. Trying to win his attention and affection back when he’s pulling away only puts more pressure on him and yourself. It also increases the possibility of putting more distance between the two of you and him possibly taking advantage of you, and here’s why.

During this time, you will feel confused, uncertain, and most likely a bit desperate. Trying to reel him back under these conditions won’t let you to shine. And if he is having doubts about you, the energy of desperation that comes from trying to keep his interest, confirms his doubts.

Instead, be still and pay attention to his actions while giving him his space . Don’t read into things, because you may misinterpret what’s really going on.

Without pressure, his true intentions will be revealed through what he does. It’s possible that he may have realized how much he loves you — he may be scared, feeling overwhelmed, and is coming to terms with this. It’s also possible he is thinking of leaving you , and if that happens, things weren’t meant to be.

2. Focus on yourself.

During this time, your self-esteem may take a hit . If this happens, work on building your self worth back up and getting to a place where you feel calm during this time of uncertainty. Take care of things you have neglected, explore new interests, and get to a place where you feel okay with uncertainty.

When you feel okay again (i.e. no feelings of desperation, no negative energy, etc.), reflect on your relationship with him .

Is he really the right guy for you or do you have doubts? If you could design your ideal relationship, is what you have with him truly ideal? Do you feel happy most of the time when you think of him or when you’re together?

Or do the times of unhappiness outweigh the moments of happiness ? Be honest with yourself as you may find that you may be better off without him .

3. Let him come back to you.

If you believe in your heart that he is the right guy, let him come back to you . Be your best self and respond accordingly.

When he experiences the woman he fell for, this eases the doubts he has and may renew his interest. If he makes the effort, there is more desire for him to work through the issues that originally caused him to distance himself.

If you’re meant to be together, he will make his way back to you and you won’t have to guess how he feels.

Whatever you do, don’t chase him . You should never have to chase, plead with or beg a guy to come back to you. You are worth much more than that . If he doesn’t realize your value on his own, he doesn’t deserve to be with you.

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By Abdul

Top 5 Reasons Why You’re Single — And Will REMAIN That Way if you like


You don’t have to be alone forever.

While there are people out there who find themselves jumping from relationship to relationship, there are others who haven’t been in a relationship for years. If you’re wondering why you’re single , you might want to take a look at the reasons below. Then, you can use them to stop doubting yourself and start searching for a stable relationship.

1. You’re too much of a perfectionist.

Sometimes, people are too perfectionist when they are looking for a mate. They reject anyone who has even a small flaw or who doesn’t perfectly match their list of what they are looking for in a future spouse.

This single person needs to realize that nobody is perfect , and we rarely find anyone who meets all of our requirements. They just need to try out different types of people with a more open mind. This person might also benefit from some self-analysis and reflection to learn what his or her imperfections are.

2. You have low self-esteem.

This kind of perpetually single person does not feel good about him/her self and therefore won’t open him/herself up to the kind of soulful sharing that is necessary for a spouse. This person needs therapy to learn how to feel good about him/herself and to figure out how to trust their own feelings.

Until this person even likes him or herself, there is no way that they are going to find someone to love them or to trust that they can fully love the other.

3. You’re afraid of what commitment will mean.

They enjoy dating and enjoy the almost endless variety of people they can meet. Deep down, they are probably afraid of giving up the next good person that they might meet. Even when they find someone who might make a fantastic mate, they may think, “But what about the next person I meet?”

This forever-single needs to learn that there probably is not one perfect true love for anyone; that each of us probably has multiple great spouses out there. We just need to find one of them and commit to receive the almost unending benefits that a good marriage can bring you.

4. You think changing yourself will help you fit in.

This method simply doesn’t have merit and is one of the top reasons why you’re single. There is no way that a person who is completely faking it to seem like they are just like their potential mate can keep up that charade. And, even if they manage to for long enough to become engaged or even married, it is highly unlikely that this will form the basis for a long, satisfying marriage. Instead, this fake persona will likely lead to a relatively rapid divorce.

5. You’re simply too uninteresting.

They don’t have hobbies. They don’t have interests. They don’t have things about which they feel passionate. Oddly enough, of the five different types discussed here, this is the easiest to fix. Get out! Enjoy life. Try different things . Find something you love doing. Odds are, while you are doing that thing you now love, you will find someone else also doing the same thing, and soon, maybe you can begin loving doing that thing together.

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By Babs